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Archive for September, 2006

Kiss-off

I had a talk with the pseudo-lover. I say pseudo-lover because we have done practically everything except sleep together. We chat until the wee hours of dawn. He takes pictures of his privates. He performs before me, teasingly, shamelessly. He describes what he’d do to me and what he wants me to do to him.

It was exciting, this flirt dance. I felt guilty and exhilarated at the same time.

At some point, we decided we were ready to be physically intimate.

No, we never did end up in bed together. He wasn’t too bright, see. And as the days wore on, it became painfully clear to me that if all I’d get out of him is sex, I might as well have sex with myself.

I told him: I get laid every night, dude. Sometimes, I get laid three times a day. Sleeping with you would only be one in a series of tumbles. You can’t blame me for looking for something more. No, I am not looking for a relationship. I’d love it, even, if you did not know my name. But I am looking for a little something, a kinship of minds, perhaps, or a shared love of something intangible. That, we do not have.

He acted like a jerk while I made my speech. He kept asking for a goodbye fuck.

Some form of IQ test should be given to potential lovers.

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