A man is considered successful if:

1) he makes enough money to present every ex-girlfriend, from first-grade to present, with emerald-encrusted replicas of his penis.
2) he is happy, and everyone he loves and who loves him back are happy as well.
3) he has a wealth of experience to make up for lack of material wealth.
4) his penis doubles as a firefighter’s [...]

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Pumping Penises; Dispelling Horniness

It’s not just oil or water you pump; it’s penis, too. I kid you not. There is such a thing as a penis pump, and it’s handy to have around for the moments when Junior fails you.
The basic penis pump is made up of a hollow plastic cylinder and a tube connecting the cylinder to [...]

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